One of the hardest things about dealing with fibromyalgia,or any other chronic illness, is trying to wrap your head around the idea that this terrible disease that has invaded your life is never going to go away.
I am by nature a positive person. I usually can find some sliver of light even in the darkest situation. When I was diagnosed, I was told that there is no consensus in the medical community about what causes fibromyalgia and there is no definitive cure for the disease.I don't think I truly believed that in the beginning. I woke up every morning expecting to feel better. But day after day passed and I still had severe pain and debilitating fatigue. After a whole year went by with no improvement, reality hit. I might feel this horrible for the rest of my life. I tumbled headlong into another symptom: Depression.
If I was going to cope with chronic illness, I had to learn how to cope with the depression it caused. Like every other aspect of the disease, this became a process over time. If you have found things that help you deal with the depression that comes with chronic illness, please share in the comment section. Different things help different people.
Five things helped me cope with the depression caused by my fibromyalgia. If you suffer from fibromyalgia or another chronic illness and are struggling with depression, it may help to:
Practice an Attitude of Gratitude Every Single Day
We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday. Families and friends sat around the table counting their blessings. This can be a jarring ritual for someone who feels lost in the darkness of feeling horrible all the time. When I was dealing with my illness, I knew that I needed a way to shift my focus from my current negative circumstances to more positive thoughts. So every day I tried to think of at least one thing that I could be thankful for. This was not always easy. But it helped. I expressed thanks for all kinds of things.
- This morning I took a shower and brushed my teeth before I had to sit down. Yay!
- I drove to the supermarket and shopped for fifteen minutes all by myself.
- My pain level on a scale of 1 to 10 is an 8 today instead of a 10.
- I am surrounded by family and friends who love me.
- My husband encourages and helps me every single day.
- I saw five deer walking through the woods behind my house.They were beautiful.
Spend Time in Prayer
I am a woman of faith, so bringing the darkness that enveloped me to God was a natural response for me. I asked God to show me ways that I might be able to feel better. I asked him to help me develop good coping mechanisms to deal with the reality that I might not ever feel well. I asked for enough strength to simply put one foot in front of the other and somehow manage to survive the day. Sometimes my prayers were along the line of:
"Why in the world did you allow this to happen to me?"
"I'm mad, tired, and discouraged and don't really feel like talking to you today."
God loves us like a dad loves his family so he patiently listened to my complaints and questions. I had dealt with all kinds of negative circumstances before being diagnosed with fibromyaliga. I had other illnesses. People I loved had died. Relationships I cherished had ended. My faith in God helped me cope then. My faith would help me cope with this too.
There is a verse in the Bible that has encouraged me in many of the dark times in my life and I held on to this thought.
"I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither the present nor the future, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39
Read a Wide Variety of Books
I have always loved to read all kinds of books. The books I read during my illness reminded me that I was not the only person in the world who was suffering, taught me smart ways to eat, reminded me to be grateful, and brought balance to my view of my current situation. I read my Bible, devotional books, books about dealing with chronic illness, books on depression, books about coping with trauma, books about eating good food, books about learning to be thankful in difficult circumstances. I didn't agree with every single thing in every single book but I was given bits and pieces of light from each one.The words dancing across all of those pages encouraged me. Here are a few suggestions:
- Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People? by Harold S. Kushner
- Eating on the Wild Side by Jo Robinson
- The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
- In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan
- Learning to Pray When Your Heart is Breaking by Denise George
- FibroWHYalgia by Sue Ingebretson
- A Place of Healing by Joni EarecksonTada
- Eating Well for Optimum Heath by Andrew Weil
- Prayer:Does It Make Any Difference? by Philip Yancey
- Foods That Fight Fibromyalgia by Dierdre Rawlings
- Help.Thanks. Wow by Anne Lamott
- 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp.
Make Intentional Movement a Planned Part of Each Week
The pain from fibromyalgia was so severe that my muscles and joints screamed at just the thought of movement. My fatigue was so debilitating that I considered walking from the couch to the kitchen a monumental triumph.
Then I heard a doctor describe an exercise program designed for people with chronic illness that started with walking just one minute a day. I thought even I could handle that. So I walked around the inside of my house for one minute once a day for several weeks. After I got used to that, I started walking two minutes each day. I added minutes every few weeks until I was walking fifteen minutes at a time, then twenty. When the weather was nice, I walked outside. I wasn't race walking. I was strolling and meandering. Moving around in the sunshine is a great mood booster. I gradually added swimming, light weight lifting, and stretches to my routine. Not only did this help with my physical symptoms, it also elevated my mood.
Take Charge of Educating Yourself about Your Illness
After a year of wallowing in misery, I became proactive about my disease. I started looking for answers and possibilities. There is a wealth of information in books and on the internet. I read all kinds of theories about what causes fibromyalgia and other autoimmune diseases. I searched for things I could do to feel better. Even before I discovered a single thing that helped, I felt my depression lifting. I was finally actively taking charge of this chronic illness instead of passively allowing it to take charge of me. Looking for information made me feel hopeful instead of helpless.
Over time I developed a plan that involved three primary lifestyle changes. I eliminated as many toxic chemicals as possible from my home environment. I stopped eating most processed food. I started eating real food rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory nutrients. I hoped this would help me feel at least somewhat better. I was utterly amazed that I eventually completely recovered. On December 6 I will celebrate three years of being symptom free.
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