One of the hardest things about dealing with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, or any other chronic illness, is trying to wrap your head around the idea that this terrible disease that has invaded your life is never going to go away.
I am by nature a positive person. I usually can find some sliver of light even in the darkest situation. When I was diagnosed, I was told that there is no known cause or cure for fibromyalgia and CFS. I don't think I truly believed that in the beginning. I woke up every morning expecting to feel better. But day after day passed and I still had severe pain and debilitating fatigue. After a whole year went by with no improvement, reality hit me square in the gut. I might feel this horrible for the rest of my life. I was forced to add a new symptom to my fibromyalgia pattern: Depression.
If I was going to cope with chronic illness, I had to learn how to cope with the depression it caused. Like every other aspect of the disease, this became a process over time. If you have found things that help you deal with the depression that comes with chronic illness, please share in the comment section so that other folks dealing with this can be encouraged. Different things help different people.
Here are some things that helped me cope with the depression chronic illness caused.
Exercise
The pain from fibromyalgia was so severe that my muscles and joints screamed at even the thought of movement. My fatigue was so debilitating that I considered walking from the couch to the kitchen a monumental triumph. Then I heard a doctor describe an exercise program designed for people with chronic illness that started with walking just one minute a day. I thought even I could handle that. So I walked around the inside of my house for one minute once a day for several weeks. After I got used to that, I started walking two minutes each day. I added minutes every few weeks until I was walking fifteen minutes at a time. When the weather was nice, I walked outside. I wasn't race walking. I was strolling and meandering. Moving around in the sunshine is a great mood booster. I gradually added swimming, light weight lifting, and stretches to my routine. Not only did this help with my physical symptoms, it also elevated my mood.
Books
I read my Bible, devotional books, books about dealing with chronic illness, books on depression, books about coping with trauma, books about eating good food, books about learning to be thankful in difficult circumstances. The words dancing across all of those pages encouraged me. Here are a few suggestions:
- Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People? by Harold S. Kushner
- Eating on the Wild Side by Jo Robinson
- The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
- Learning to Pray When Your Heart is Breaking by Denise George
- A Place of Healing by Joni E. Tada
- Foods That Fight Fibromyalgia by Dierdre Rawlings
- Recovery from CFS - 50 Personal Stories by Alexandra Barton
- Help.Thanks. Wow by Anne Lamott
- One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.
Prayer
I am a woman of faith so bringing the darkness that enveloped me to God was a natural response for me. I asked God to show me ways that I might be able to feel better. I asked him to help me develop good coping mechanisms to deal with the reality that I might not ever feel well. I asked for enough strength to simply put one foot in front of the other and somehow manage to survive the day. Sometimes my prayers were along the line of:
"What in the world were you thinking to allow this to happen to me?"
"I'm mad, tired, and discouraged and don't really feel like talking to you today."
God loves us like a dad loves his family so he patiently listened to my complaints and questions. I had dealt with all kinds of trauma before fibromyalgia appeared in my life. There is a verse in the Bible that has encouraged me in dark times and I held on to this thought.
"I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither the present nor the future, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39
Gratitude
I needed a way to shift my focus from my current negative circumstances to more positive thoughts. So every day I tried to think of at least one thing that I could be thankful for. This was not always easy. But it helped. I expressed thanks for all kinds of things.
- This morning I took a shower and brushed my teeth before I had to sit down. Yay!
- I drove to the supermarket and shopped for fifteen minutes all by myself.
- My pain level is an 8 instead of a 10.
- I am surrounded by family and friends who love me.
- My husband encourages and helps me every single day.
- I saw a red cardinal sitting on a bare tree limb in the middle of January. It was beautiful.
Research
I started looking for answers and possibilities. There is a wealth of information in books and on the internet. I read all kinds of theories about what causes fibromyalgia and CFS. I searched for things I could do to feel better. Even before I discovered a single thing that helped, I felt my depression lifting. I was finally actively taking charge of this chronic illness instead of passively allowing it to take charge of me. Looking for information made me feel hopeful instead of helpless.
Over time I developed a plan that involved three lifestyle changes. I eliminated chemical products from my home environment, stopped eating processed food, and started eating whole foods rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory nutrients. I hoped this would help me feel at least somewhat better. I was utterly amazed that it eventually led to compete recovery. I have been symptom free for 14 months and 10 days.
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