Healthy Faith Focuses on Unity

Can we put aside our differences and focus on how we are connected to one another?

Our lives are intertwined like branches on a tree.

My husband graduated from Ensley High School in Birmingham, Alabama decades ago. Over the years we have run into numerous people who also graduated from Ensley. This might not seem so strange if we still lived in Birmingham. But we have lived in numerous places since then and we keep running into people who went to Vic's high school.They are everywhere: repairmen, deliverymen, patients at our office, visitors passing through town, the people sitting next to us at the theater, the Sunday School teacher in a class we visited - all graduates of the same high school located in a city we haven't lived in since 1975.

My favorite story about this connection happened when we were missionaries in Colombia, South America. We were studying Spanish in the capital city of Bogotá. We attended a church that shared its facilities with two congregations: the local Spanish-speaking residents and English expats that worked in international companies throughout the city. One group had a worship service while the other went to Bible study and then they swapped locations. During the half hour break for the changeover, both groups met in a central area for coffee and fellowship. During the break one Sunday Vic and I walked over from the Spanish service and introduced ourselves to an American couple attending the English service for the first time.They had moved to Colombia due to a job transfer and had been in Bogotá just a few weeks.The husband said they were enjoying the experience of living in a different culture.Then he said, "One of the main reasons I'm glad to be here is because everywhere we go we meet people who went to the same high school as my wife. We are finally living in a place so far away that she won't run into any fellow graduates " Vic said, "That happens to us all the time, too." The wife put down her coffee cup and said, "Yes, I doubt I'll run into anyone in Bogotá,Colombia who went to Ensley High School in Birmingham, Alabama."

It is amazing how many ways our lives are intertwined with the lives of other people. We graduate from the same school, discover we have friends in common, work in the same field, or share similar interests.If we are Christians, we have a common faith that ought to be a powerful force for unity.

We should feel connected instantly to others who belong to the family of God. Unfortunately, in recent years, we have focused more on what separates us than on what unites us. God's family includes people from different countries, ethnic backgrounds, political parties, denominations, cultural views, languages, and traditions. We have the awesome potential to work together to bless each other and to bless unbelievers. But that will never happen as long as we spend our time drawing lines in the sand, arguing, and demanding that everyone think exactly like we do on every single issue.

To practice healthy faith, we need to put aside our differences and focus on how we are connected to one another.There are so many ways our lives are intertwined with our brothers and sisters in Christ. If we would concentrate our energies on the great truths we hold in common, it would be a lot easier to find ways to work together to impact our communities and our world with the gospel. We could help and encourage one another. We could feed the hungry, clothe the poor, heal the sick, and welcome the stranger in the name of the one who said, "In as much as you have done something for one of the least of these, you have done it for me."  Matthew 25:40 NIV

I long for reconciliation among believers that will bring light to darkness and speak love to hate. So today, I intentionally chose to cherish each and every person who belongs to the family of God. I chose to look for the things that unite us. I chose to respect wherever you are in your faith journey. I will not require you to be in the same place on the path as me. I will not focus on divisive ploys. I will not argue. I will not belittle. I will not condemn or condone. I will simply pray:

"May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." 2 Corinthians 13:14 NIV


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It's Healthy to Tell God the Truth

Avoiding toxic substances in household products, personal care items, and processed food is a smart way to take care of our physical bodies. But we are more than a physical body. We have a soul and a spirit. As a woman of faith, I have to take care of my spiritual self too. It can be toxic to my faith to pretend everything is okay when it's not. It is good for my spirit when I'm honest with God. Hey, I might as well be. He knows everything about me anyway. It is liberating and healthy to truthfully tell God how I feel. Once upon a time, I had a day mixed with equal parts of frustration and gratitude. So I talked to God about it. I told Him my truth and He told me His. 

Dear Lord,

I've had it. I'm done.I think I am now officially allergic to everything but air.I guess that will be next. Okay, so I've gotten used to the shellfish allergy thing. Although it has limited my lifestyle considerably since it has progressed to the point that I can no longer walk into a restaurant that serves shellfish or a grocery store that sells fresh seafood because now even that tiny amount of exposure causes a severe allergic reaction. I've adjusted. I just don't go to those places anymore. I've tried to focus on what I can do instead of what I can't and be thankful that I can still eat out occasionally at the handful of restaurants that don't serve shellfish.

I'm dealing with the processed food issue and the lactose intolerance. I'm grateful that you showed me that eating processed food full of toxic chemicals was contributing to my fibromyalgia symptoms, really I am. Since I changed my diet by ditching most processed food and instead eating real food with lots of antioxidants and anti-inflammatory nutrients, my symptoms have disappeared. I'm grateful and amazed. But it is so frustrating to not be able to go to a potluck dinner at church or out to eat with friends because I might be exposed to something that could make me sick, or you know, kill me.I feel so isolated sometimes. 

And why do I have to be allergic to all these insects? I live in the south for crying out loud.There are bees, spiders, gnats, and all manner of stinging, biting little critters everywhere. 

Today, today pushed me right over the edge.

This happens. A spider or a gnat or some other small creature I can't see bites me while I'm inside of Walmart. I take a Benadryl tablet and hope that will be enough to stop the anaphylactic reaction. I drag out to the car in utter disbelief. It's the second time it's happened.This month. Inside of Walmart. My soul is so utterly downcast. Will I have to become a hermit and never leave my house again?

I drive home and plop down on the couch completely defeated. My face, tongue and throat are still swollen.There is pressure in my chest. So I pop another Benadryl and get out my EpiPen and wait. I think about how it's beyond ironic that the epinephrine in the EpiPen is one of the many medicines that cause bad side effects for me.I won't use it unless absolutely necessary. I unscrew the cap and prepare to jab myself in the thigh if needed.The tachycardia I get from the epinephrine is less traumatic than the whole, you know, stopping breathing thing from the allergic reaction. While I wait, enveloped in a disorienting fog from taking two doses of Benadryl, I notice the Kindle on the table beside me and decide to look at my Facebook page.The very first thing I see is a Bible verse posted by a friend.

"Don't be afraid for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up." Isaiah 41:10

Oh. 

I see. I remember. You created everything: shellfish, milk, spiders, gnats, me. You are with me. You are my God. You give me strength and help. You hold me up. So, I choose to be hopeful instead of discouraged, grateful instead of complaining, trusting instead of afraid.  

The Benadryl works. I put away the EpiPen and meditate on your goodness, on all the ways you bless me.Thank you that I can pour out my frustration, my thoughts, my problems, my truth, my heart to you. Thank you, thank you, thank you that I can come before you with whining and afterward walk out into whatever else this day holds with singing.

Amen and Amen.


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5 Ways to Cope with Depression in Chronic Illness While Moving Toward Recovery

One of the hardest things about dealing with fibromyalgia,or any other chronic illness, is trying to wrap your head around the idea that this terrible disease that has invaded your life is never going to go away.  

I am by nature a positive person. I usually can find some sliver of light even in the darkest situation. When I was diagnosed, I was told that there is no consensus in the medical community about what causes fibromyalgia and there is no definitive cure for the disease.I don't think I truly believed that in the beginning. I woke up every morning expecting to feel better. But day after day passed and I still had severe pain and debilitating fatigue. After a whole year went by with no improvement, reality hit. I might feel this horrible for the rest of my life. I tumbled headlong into another symptom: Depression.  

If I was going to cope with chronic illness, I had to learn how to cope with the depression it caused. Like every other aspect of the disease, this became a process over time. If you have found things that help you deal with the depression that comes with chronic illness, please share in the comment section. Different things help different people.  

Five things helped me cope with the depression caused by my fibromyalgia. If you suffer from fibromyalgia or another chronic illness and are struggling with depression, it may help to:


Practice an Attitude of Gratitude Every Single Day

We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday. Families and friends sat around the table counting their blessings. This can be a jarring ritual for someone who feels lost in the darkness of feeling horrible all the time. When I was dealing with my illness, I knew that I needed a way to shift my focus from my current negative circumstances to more positive thoughts. So every day I tried to think of at least one thing that I could be thankful for. This was not always easy. But it helped. I expressed thanks for all kinds of things.

• This morning I took a shower and brushed my teeth before I had to sit down. Yay!
• I drove to the supermarket and shopped for fifteen minutes all by myself.
• My pain level on a scale of 1 to 10 is an 8 today instead of a 10.
• I am surrounded by family and friends who love me.
• My husband encourages and helps me every single day.
• I saw five deer walking through the woods behind my house.They were beautiful.

Spend Time in Prayer

I am a woman of faith, so bringing the darkness that enveloped me to God was a natural response for me. I asked God to show me ways that I might be able to feel better. I asked him to help me develop good coping mechanisms to deal with the reality that I might not ever feel well. I asked for enough strength to simply put one foot in front of the other and somehow manage to survive the day. Sometimes my prayers were along the line of: 

"Why in the world did you allow this to happen to me?" 

"I'm mad, tired, and discouraged and don't really feel like talking to you today." 

God loves us like a dad loves his family so he patiently listened to my complaints and questions. I had dealt with all kinds of negative circumstances before being diagnosed with fibromyaliga. I had other illnesses. People I loved had died. Relationships I cherished had ended. My faith in God helped me cope then. My faith would help me cope with this too. 
There is a verse in the Bible that has encouraged me in many of the dark times in my life and I held on to this thought. 

"I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither the present nor the future, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39


Read a Wide Variety of Books

I have always loved to read all kinds of books. The books I read during my illness reminded me that I was not the only person in the world who was suffering, taught me smart ways to eat, reminded me to be grateful, and brought balance to my view of my current situation. I read my Bible, devotional books, books about dealing with chronic illness, books on depression, books about coping with trauma, books about eating good food, books about learning to be thankful in difficult circumstances. I didn't agree with every single thing in every single book but I was given bits and pieces of light from each one.The words dancing across all of those pages encouraged me. Here are a few suggestions:

• Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?  by Harold S. Kushner
• Eating on the Wild Side by Jo Robinson
• The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
• In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan
• Learning to Pray When Your Heart is Breaking by Denise George
• FibroWHYalgia by Sue Ingebretson
• A Place of Healing by Joni EarecksonTada
• Eating Well for Optimum Heath by Andrew Weil
• Prayer:Does It Make Any Difference? by Philip Yancey
• Foods That Fight Fibromyalgia by Dierdre Rawlings
• Help.Thanks. Wow by Anne Lamott
• 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

Make Intentional Movement a Planned Part of Each Week 

The pain from fibromyalgia was so severe that my muscles and joints screamed at just the thought of movement. My fatigue was so debilitating that I considered walking from the couch to the kitchen a monumental triumph. 

Then I heard a doctor describe an exercise program designed for people with chronic illness that started with walking just one minute a day. I thought even I could handle that. So I walked around the inside of my house for one minute once a day for several weeks. After I got used to that, I started walking two minutes each day. I added minutes every few weeks until I was walking fifteen minutes at a time, then twenty. When the weather was nice, I walked outside. I wasn't race walking. I was strolling and meandering. Moving around in the sunshine is a great mood booster. I gradually added swimming, light weight lifting, and stretches to my routine. Not only did this help with my physical symptoms, it also elevated my mood.


Take Charge of Educating Yourself about Your Illness

After a year of wallowing in misery, I became proactive about my disease. I started looking for answers and possibilities. There is a wealth of information in books and on the internet. I read all kinds of theories about what causes fibromyalgia and other autoimmune diseases. I searched for things I could do to feel better. Even before I discovered a single thing that helped, I felt my depression lifting. I was finally actively taking charge of this chronic illness instead of passively allowing it to take charge of me. Looking for information made me feel hopeful instead of helpless.  

Over time I developed a plan that involved three primary lifestyle changes.  I eliminated as many toxic chemicals as possible from my home environment. I stopped eating most processed food. I started eating real food rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory nutrients. I hoped this would help me feel at least somewhat better. I was utterly amazed that I eventually completely recovered. On December 6 I will celebrate three years of being symptom free.




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5 Ways to Cope with Depression in Chronic Illness

One of the hardest things about dealing with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, or any other chronic illness, is trying to wrap your head around the idea that this terrible disease that has invaded your life is never going to go away.  

I am by nature a positive person. I usually can find some sliver of light even in the darkest situation. When I was diagnosed, I was told that there is no known cause or cure for fibromyalgia and CFS.  I don't think I truly believed that in the beginning. I woke up every morning expecting to feel better. But day after day passed and I still had severe pain and debilitating fatigue. After a whole year went by with no improvement, reality hit me square in the gut. I might feel this horrible for the rest of my life. I was forced to add a new symptom to my fibromyalgia pattern:  Depression.  

If I was going to cope with chronic illness, I had to learn how to cope with the depression it caused. Like every other aspect of the disease, this became a process over time. If you have found things that help you deal with the depression that comes with chronic illness, please share in the comment section so that other folks dealing with this can be encouraged. Different things help different people.  

Here are some things that helped me cope with the depression chronic illness caused.

Exercise 

The pain from fibromyalgia was so severe that my muscles and joints screamed at even the thought of movement. My fatigue was so debilitating that I considered walking from the couch to the kitchen a monumental triumph. Then I heard a doctor describe an exercise program designed for people with chronic illness that started with walking just one minute a day. I thought even I could handle that. So I walked around the inside of my house for one minute once a day for several weeks. After I got used to that, I started walking two minutes each day. I added minutes every few weeks until I was walking fifteen minutes at a time. When the weather was nice, I walked outside. I wasn't race walking. I was strolling and meandering. Moving around in the sunshine is a great mood booster. I gradually added swimming, light weight lifting, and stretches to my routine. Not only did this help with my physical symptoms, it also elevated my mood.

Books

I read my Bible, devotional books, books about dealing with chronic illness, books on depression, books about coping with trauma, books about eating good food, books about learning to be thankful in difficult circumstances. The words dancing across all of those pages encouraged me. Here are a few suggestions:

• Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?  by Harold S. Kushner
• Eating on the Wild Side by Jo Robinson
• The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
• Learning to Pray When Your Heart is Breaking by Denise George
• A Place of Healing by Joni E. Tada
• Foods That Fight Fibromyalgia by Dierdre Rawlings
• Recovery from CFS - 50 Personal Stories by Alexandra Barton
• Help.Thanks. Wow by Anne Lamott
• One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  

Prayer  

I am a woman of faith so bringing the darkness that enveloped me to God was a natural response for me. I asked God to show me ways that I might be able to feel better. I asked him to help me develop good coping mechanisms to deal with the reality that I might not ever feel well. I asked for enough strength to simply put one foot in front of the other and somehow manage to survive the day. Sometimes my prayers were along the line of: 

"What in the world were you thinking to allow this to happen to me?" 

"I'm mad, tired, and discouraged and don't really feel like talking to you today." 

God loves us like a dad loves his family so he patiently listened to my complaints and questions. I had dealt with all kinds of trauma before fibromyalgia appeared in my life. There is a verse in the Bible that has encouraged me in dark times and I held on to this thought. 

"I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither the present nor the future, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Gratitude

I needed a way to shift my focus from my current negative circumstances to more positive thoughts. So every day I tried to think of at least one thing that I could be thankful for. This was not always easy.  But it helped. I expressed thanks for all kinds of things.

• This morning I took a shower and brushed my teeth before I had to sit down. Yay!
• I drove to the supermarket and shopped for fifteen minutes all by myself.
• My pain level is an 8 instead of a 10.
• I am surrounded by family and friends who love me.
• My husband encourages and helps me every single day.
• I saw a red cardinal sitting on a bare tree limb in the middle of January. It was beautiful.

Research
I started looking for answers and possibilities. There is a wealth of information in books and on the internet. I read all kinds of theories about what causes fibromyalgia and CFS. I searched for things I could do to feel better. Even before I discovered a single thing that helped, I felt my depression lifting. I was finally actively taking charge of this chronic illness instead of passively allowing it to take charge of me. Looking for information made me feel hopeful instead of helpless.  

Over time I developed a plan that involved three lifestyle changes.  I eliminated chemical products from my home environment, stopped eating processed food, and started eating whole foods rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory nutrients. I hoped this would help me feel at least somewhat better. I was utterly amazed that it eventually led to compete recovery. I have been symptom free for 14 months and 10 days.